https://slama.dev/comeback/
Did you see that?
There was an ambulance here just now.
Yeah, I walked by.
And you won't even tell me what happened to who?
So you'd think, like always, that you're next in line?
You're exaggerating, aren't you?
And what about that time they took that guy downstairs with appendicitis?
But I really did get a stabbing pain in my side.
Sure.
So what happened?
Podroužek had a heart attack.
Podroužek?
He's younger than me.
Don't take it so hard.
I was completely drenched in cold sweat.
My left arm is starting to tingle.
Here we go.
Iva, who's on duty at the clinic today?
Lexa!
I thought we agreed on some secrecy, right?
If you think I'm actually going to call you Mr. Banana, you're mistaken.
Are we doing a secret operation again, or what?
We're not doing a secret operation.
We're going rock climbing with the fourth graders.
And we're only hiding it from Dad and from Saša, so she doesn't blab it to him.
You meant the old tiger and the ginger crow, right?
Well, obviously.
Hey, so where are you going, by bus six or by train?
Everything is encrypted in the dead drop.
In the dead drop?
Yeah.
I tried pneumatic mail first, but that didn't work out.
Just tell me.
Are you crazy?
What if the old tiger is eavesdropping on you?
The old tiger is at the doctor's, telling him he's having a heart attack.
Why would he eavesdrop on me?
Fine, where's the dead drop?
When the time comes, you'll find out.
Iva, I found this in the mailbox.
Damn.
Hi, Lexa.
Hello.
It says on it, top secret, signed Mr. Banana.
Do you know what that's supposed to mean?
I really don't know.
But it's probably some nonsense.
Mm, from some stupid person.
Well, I'd better go.
Probably some kids from the fifth floor mixed up the mailboxes.
Mm, some stupid kids.
Iva, what kind of talk is that?
Bye.
Bye, kid.
So how was it at the clinic anyway?
You were there quite a while?
That slacker Brožek wasn't there either, but Doctor Malík was.
And he actually wants to treat people for real.
Right, he doesn't know you yet.
So he takes you seriously.
Iva, I am not a hypochondriac.
Call Ozzák, I want to tell you my results.
Oh boy.
Ozzák, Dad's back from the clinic.
Will you bring me a picture?
Yeah, sure.
I already have the bear.
Wait, this is serious.
It's always serious.
Ozzák, sit down, and you, Iva, listen.
I might have a heart problem.
For real?
Doctor Malík didn't find anything, but I do have problems.
Uh-huh.
Iva, don't brush it off.
Doctor Malík didn't brush it off either.
He prescribed me a Holter monitor and told me to schedule it for a regular day.
What's that?
A Holter is a little device that I'll have on me at all times.
It will record the activity of my heart.
I don't care about that, what's a regular day?
It's a day when Dad lounges around the house all day and then yells at us in the evening for not doing anything.
Iva, don't upset me.
And this is exactly why I ended up with a Holter.
And what is this Holter thing?
Do you really want me to die like Podroužek?
Podroužek didn't die, he's in the hospital.
How come?
His scouts stopped me and were collecting for him.
They have that motto.
Be prepared.
Right.
What are scouts?
They're those kids who are always hanging around here.
Oh, those ones with colds.
No, they just wear those scarves around their necks.
I didn't have to invite them for hot toddy then.
Ozzák, I'm a sick man.
Sorry then.
And leave those scouts alone.
You know how sensitive Podroužek is about them.
Jesus, Podroužek is in the hospital, isn't he?
And I'll end up there too if you keep stressing me out.
Fine, I'll go so I don't stress you out.
See?
That's exactly it.
And all I want is for us to agree like normal people on when I'll have my regular day.
So just tell us already, damn it, what a regular day is!
A day?
When nothing unusual happens.
So the day we're talking about is a day when there's no risk of anything getting out of hand.
Exactly.
Well!
Then not tomorrow.
What are you planning?
Nothing, but it's Friday.
End of a week full of hard work, you let your guard down.
How about Tuesday?
Why Tuesday?
Tuesday is the start of a week full of hard work, you don't plan anything because the end is nowhere in sight.
What hard work?
You mean how you come to the shop at noon, sleep in the back room all afternoon, and go to the pub in the evening?
If you put it that way.
So you're not planning anything for tomorrow?
We're just going to help Metloš's mom with canning.
And does "helping Metloš's mom with canning" in your slang by any chance mean something that ends with the police?
No way.
Poor Metloš's mom is practically blind.
She nearly canned a cat.
Jesus.
Well if you're just going to can stuff, then I might take the...
Holter already tomorrow.
I want to get it over with too.
Well, okay then.
And a Holter is what?
Good morning, Tomáš.
It's going to be a nice day.
A regular day, Marcelka?
It has to be a regular day.
So you already have it on.
And what can it all do?
It constantly monitors my heart.
And once an hour it measures my blood pressure.
Which is quite funny.
Funny?
Yeah.
No matter what I'm doing.
I have to immediately stop moving and talking.
For a whole minute.
And this morning it happened at the post office, which was hilarious, believe me.
Goodness, they must have stared behind the counter when you just froze and stopped talking.
Well, I was actually still standing in line, so nobody noticed.
But it was hilarious.
I see.
9:40, arrival at work, conversation with subordinate...
No stress.
And you have to write everything down like this?
Well, otherwise Doctor Malík wouldn't know what my heart is reacting to.
I've been writing it down since morning, look.
Oh my.
Woke up, no stress.
Breakfast, mild stress.
Iva didn't buy croissants.
Tram ride to work, more stress.
Ticket inspector.
Oh no.
There was this grumpy old man who wanted me to give up my seat, even though I clearly told him that standing stresses me out.
But you should have seen his face when I showed him this setup.
He only had some ridiculous little alarm clock.
Hey.
Got a minute?
One moment.
9:45.
Arrival of friend for the purpose of conversation.
A private conversation.
Of course.
I'll go make some coffee.
I found this in the gutter.
Where?
In the gutter, stuffed inside.
I was checking if there was a bomb in there.
In the gutter?
After the war, they were painting and found a bomb in a gutter.
I just read about it yesterday.
You keep reading that nonsense about spies.
Nonsense?
Look at this.
It's obviously a cipher.
Jege, dege, mege, bugu, segen.
And this here, Mr. Banana.
Yesterday I had something similar in the mailbox.
It's just gibberish.
That's what you said when that coded message from Ostrava came to our building.
That was just a misdirected postcard.
Right, a postcard arrives saying, Mommy it's nice here, the food is good, in a week a plane with the Polish president will crash, and that seems normal to you.
I think Putin is behind this.
Wait, you're seriously telling me that Putin sent us a postcard?
Not Putin directly, one of his agents.
And not to us, but to the agent who lives in our building.
Right, so we have an agent in our building?
And he puts his messages in the gutter.
Look, Simona, I'm not in the mood for this, okay?
I'm a seriously ill person and I don't want to end up like Podroužek.
Well, he could be the agent.
What?
They poisoned him with plutonium.
God.
I made some for you too.
Oh, thanks.
Iva!
Stop it!
I know perfectly well you were looking.
Well, when you're belaying someone, you have to look at them, right?
It's not that you were looking, it's where you were looking.
That's not true.
And you were drooling while doing it.
I'm allergic to dust, my eyes were watering.
I'm not going to the attic to train with you anymore.
Tomorrow I'm climbing with Tibor.
You can't be serious?
Yeah, he doesn't drool and he has a motorcycle.
So that's all I'm good for, huh?
I organized and kept everything secret.
Then you'll go climbing with Tibor and I'll be stuck with Titanic.
Please, what exactly did you organize?
Well, I handled my sister.
I came up with a brilliant cover story.
Yeah, just as long as it doesn't end up like when we went rafting.
This time she'll really give up.
I told her we'd have to get up at four.
And crawl through mud all day.
Iva, are you really going potato picking?
Can I come with you?
I'm climbing with Tibor.
Banana.
I already got a basket.
And I got one for you too, in case you didn't have one.
Two forty.
Finished cocoa.
Mild stress.
Mild stress?
Doctor Malík told me to cut down on sweets.
Then just write "warm beverage."
Finished warm beverage, no stress.
So far so good.
Ozzák will be here soon and I can get on with my afternoon schedule.
There are still three crates to sort in the back.
Marcelka, I told you it could affect the readings, didn't I?
Of course.
Regular day.
What's going on?
We got there late.
The old lady started canning without us.
Luckily she forgot you're supposed to pour in the brine.
Well do something, or she'll choke.
Couldn't you have broken it?
So the little kitty could cut itself?
Herod.
Kid, get out, the cat will eat.
Take that cat back and get back here immediately.
Your shift is starting.
Bro, I can't yet.
Well, Pytel complained that we help Metloš's mom but nobody helps his mom, so we have to go there too.
Wait a minute.
Bro, at least for a little while.
She already started canning on her own too.
And Pytel is worried about his hamsters.
Can I really?
I think he'll say no.
Tomáš, say something.
Well, sure.
Sure, regular day.
Ozzák does whatever he wants and you just let him.
Just let him go, Tomáš.
Bro has a big heart.
Thanks, bro.
Thanks.
2:45.
Blood pressure measurement.
High stress.
And what's this for?
That's a gauge for measuring potatoes.
Really?
Yeah, whichever one fits through it is too small.
Handy little thing.
Are you taking a map?
What for?
So we don't get lost.
How would we get lost?
Well, like when we went to thin out the beets.
We got lost and then had to ride those dangerous rubber dinghies.
Yeah, right.
It could happen again.
You can still stay home.
I'd rather take the map.
And you're taking this to the field?
Yeah, I'm taking this to the field.
I'm taking rubber boots.
Fine.
I'm going to buy tickets.
I wouldn't trust Banana with that.
I'm going to pack too.
And I'm also taking bananas.
Hi, Tomáš.
Hey.
I'm already getting it ready.
Vermouth on ice as usual.
Why vermouth?
I guess you like it, since you order it every time.
I order wine every time?
What kind?
Well, you always pour me the same boxed garbage.
Good, it's you then.
And who else would it be?
You never know who might walk in looking just like you.
Me?
Or a double.
Then ask for his ID.
I'm not an amateur.
Forged documents, entire fake identities in use since the seventies.
Simona, stop it.
Nothing weird is going on here.
No?
Suspicious people were looking for Ozzák here.
And you think that's strange?
Decent people never come looking for Ozzák.
These ones were disguised as scouts.
As scouts?
Yeah.
Who knows if they weren't the Lilliputians from the Kremlin.
Who?
The Lilliputians from the Kremlin.
An elite Putin unit made up of dwarves, operating disguised as children.
Nonsense!
Those must have been Podroužek's scouts too.
Yeah.
Podroužek's scouts looking for Ozzák, that really puts me at ease.
So what could they want from him?
I don't know.
But they coughed a lot.
I'll probably have to talk to them.
Watch out!
They carry poisoned teddy bears.
Mild stress.
High stress.
Uncle?
Ivuška, you're here already?
Guys, this is Ivuška.
Hello.
What's going on here?
We came to help you with canning.
Me?
When you felt bad that we help Pytel's and Metloš's moms but nobody helps you, so here we are.
So nothing happens to any little animal.
Yeah.
What is he talking about?
I told them you almost canned a dog last time.
Why?
Because you can't see well anymore either.
I'm asking why you told them that?
Well, so they'd come help you.
It's terrible, though.
Everyone's always helping everyone else, but nobody helps you.
But I don't need help.
That doesn't matter, it's the principle.
Guys, Ivuška is very happy.
We're human beings, right?
What about the hamsters?
Yeah, we had to bathe them, they were covered in jam.
Uncle, if Dad shows up now, the Holter will go haywire.
You have to get out.
And your brother has something against canning?
He wanted a regular day.
And it was hard enough to talk them into it.
We've done 300 jars today already.
I don't care, leave now.
Jesus, that's Dad.
He probably forgot his keys again.
Get out immediately.
We're just now sterilizing the rubber rings, Iva.
Go.
You have to be gentle with men.
I'll have to explain it to them somehow.
Go!
Is that you?
Lexa also got me a rope, so if there's fog in the field, we won't get lost.
Jesus, take that away.
But I just can't coil it up.
Then tell Lexa, I don't have time right now.
He went to the attic to practice climbing.
Quick, take it to my room and hide it somewhere.
Dad can't see this.
He doesn't like potatoes.
Don't stress him out, go.
Go, go, go.
What do you want?
Is Brother Ozzák here?
No.
How come?
Boy, you kids look rough.
Ozzák, grab the scouts and your buddies and scram, Dad will be here any minute.
Fine then.
Guys, fresh air.
Well, I see we're going to need some medicine.
Ozzák, come back, hurry.
Parents!
I forgot my keys, have you seen them?
No, not at all.
Iva, what's all this?
Sorry, I'll clean it up right away.
Go over to Simona's in the meantime.
Yeah, that's where I'm headed.
And if she keeps reading those books about agents, I'm not going back.
She actually thinks scouts are after Ozzák.
Well, well.
Is Ozzák in his room?
No, no, no, no, no, nobody's in there.
Don't you want to take a twenty-minute nap while I clean up?
I don't know, Iva, I'm supposed to have a regular day and I only nap in the afternoon on Saturdays.
Well, Malík won't lose his mind over it.
That's true.
But it's been quite a day, you know?
At least I've got everything behind me.
Who is it this time?
Good lord!
Mr. Podroužek!
You didn't expect me.
I would have bet on that.
They released you already?
That's beside the point.
Where are the cubs?
Who?
My scouts.
Not here.
The tracks led me here.
But they're not here, right, Iva?
Well.
A few of them came looking for Ozzák.
What?
My cubs.
We missed you, Brother Scoutmaster.
Got a cough drop?
Let's have some medicine.
Hooray!
How do you explain this?
Banana, Podroužek.
In case you ever try to take my troop away again, I want you to know I have a hatchet at home.
Yes.
And luring children with hamsters is the most pathetic trick I know, you pedophile.
Excuse me, I'm leaving.
What the hell is going on here?
The Lilliputians from the Kremlin are here.
Where?
Stop this immediately.
You don't understand.
Where are the Lilliputians from the Kremlin?
Soon the Hara from Helsinki will show up.
The Hara what?
Those Nordic assassins are from the Moscow-Helsinki axis.
Excuse me.
I just wanted to ask if the cops are gone yet.
The Benga from Baghdad.
Good grief.
Explain to me what's going on here.
Nothing, bro, we're just canning.
Dad, calm down.
The Benga from Baghdad.
They're a commando of suicide bombers.
We have to leave before they show up.
Guys, let's go!
The Benga are on their way!
Bye!
See ya!
Take Pytel's hamsters!
Sit down, bro, calm down.
I'll explain.
We agreed on something.
Jesus, hurry!
We have to go!
Mom!
The little animals!
Quick!
Run!
I just can't take it anymore.
She's got a bomb!
Get down!
This is not a Holter, is it?
Sorry, it was a short circuit.
I don't even know if it'll work now.
I probably shouldn't have cut the blue wire.
No, you definitely shouldn't have.
You always cut the red one.
It was just a short circuit.
It's not about the measurement.
Even a healthy heart couldn't have taken this.
I'll end up like Podroužek.
And all I wanted was for you to behave like human beings for just one single day.
It's working.
So from now on.
No shocks, okay?
Alright then.
Good afternoon.
Mr. Pacovský?
Isn't Doctor Malík here?
I'm Doctor Stejskal, have a seat.
I came to ask about my results.
I'm just looking at them, congratulations.
Your heart is strong as a bell.
Really?
That can't be right.
Why not?
The reading can't be reliable, I had a day full of stress.
Well, all the better that your results came out so well, right?
Didn't I have a cardiac arrest in the evening?
Around six or so.
I don't see anything here.
And where is Doctor Malík?
I'd like to discuss it with him.
Unfortunately, Doctor Malík is in the hospital, but don't worry, nothing serious, just his gallbladder, goodbye.
Are you alright?
We already have a teddy bear.